Random Thoughts~

OHHH the heat is stifling here in Southern California. I had to meet a client downtown and decided to take the opportunity to seek our some new ideas in Los Angeles afterwards........unfortunately I didn't do much seeking. It was 99 degrees and then went up to 101 where it hung out for awhile. I wanted to buy some flowers for me but knew they would probably be dead by the time I got home..... so I am sharing my favorite flowers with you and an e-mail of Random Thoughts that I received from a friend.

Hope they both make you smile.................................

-I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

-Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you
realize you're wrong.

-I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to
have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and
sticks when they've invented the lighter?

-That's enough with Michael Jackson.

-I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was
younger.

-There is a great need for sarcasm font.

-Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and
suddenly realize I had no idea what was going on when I first saw
it.

-I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually
becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90
minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at
the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and
a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really,
really gets it.

-How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

-I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than
take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

- I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear
your computer history if you die.

- A recent study has shown that playing beer bong contributes to the
spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.

- Was learning cursive really necessary?

- Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else
to say".

- Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron
test is absolutely petrifying.

- Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all
I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

- I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up
to prevent a d!ck from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

- Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in'
examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete
idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said,
"Yes that's G, as in....(10 second lapse)...ummm...Goonies."

- While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and
instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.

- MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I
know how to get out of my neighborhood.

- I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the
shower first and THEN turn the water on.

-Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty,
and you can wear them forever.

- I would like to officially coin the phrase 'catching the swine flu'
to be used as a way to make fun of a friend for hooking up. Example: "Jeff caught the swine flu last night."

-I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

- Bad decisions make good stories.

-If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would
probably just be completely invisible.

-Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go
around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly
nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a
problem....

-You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work
when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything
productive for the rest of the day (kinda like now).

-Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't
want to have to restart my collection.

-There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are
going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

-I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me
if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear
I did not make any changes to.

- "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this
ever.

-I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching
TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me
if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this.
It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room.
Will we still be friends after this?'

-I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?
Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes
to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and
run away?

- I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not
seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

-When I meet a new guy, I'm terrified of mentioning something he
hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet
stalking.

-I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle,
then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

-Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising
speed for pedophiles...

- As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers,
but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

-Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not
know what time it is.

-It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.

-I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to
answer when they call.

-Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to
with it.

-Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car
keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey
but I'd bet my a$s everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3
feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...

-It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the
link takes me to a video instead of text.

-I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they
drive behind obeys the speed limit.

-I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

-I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or
Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.